Hold Yourselves Accountable: Racism and Discrimination in Pembroke, ON
I haven’t been able to sit down and write this story because I didn’t know where to begin. For once in my life I have been left speechless, profoundly-disturbed, and filled with hate.
On Thursday August 20th, 2020 between 9:00-9:30PM my grandmother was physically and verbally assaulted by a group of teenagers at our family home in Pembroke, ON.
Read those two lines. Notice how I didn’t mention anything about race or age.
My grandmother’s name is Thi Nga Doan. She recently turned 80 years old this March. To me and my siblings she is ba - meaning maternal grandmother in Vietnamese. She is the second oldest child of 5 children and she was born and raised in South Vietnam. My grandmother is a survivor of the atrocities of the Vietnam War. She was thrown into prison for trying to escape and was there for three years. She married my grandfather when she was 30 years old. They’d only been married for 2 months when he left for the war. He never came back. He never knew that she was pregnant with my mother. She raised my mother alone and brought her to Canada for what they hoped would be a better life. She has helped my mother raise five children without my biological father. She is the picture of resilience. She does not deserve this.
It’s shocking that a town that marches for Black Lives Matter still breeds hate toward people of colour. As one of the only Asian families in Pembroke - growing up we were looked down upon. I specifically remember an incident regarding a friend’s parent, they had said, “Cindy has nothing, look at her family, if she can be successful so can you.”
It was like a backhanded comment towards me and my family. We aren’t wealthy by any means but my mother put herself through college while working two part-time jobs so we always had food, had our own house, and could participate in extracurricular activities. My grandma made sure of this. She would always make sure we were in bed on time when my mom was at work or college late, always made sure we had home cooked meals, and did her best to keep us happy.
I don’t care if people know where I live. I live in that jungle of a house across from Rotary Park. You may not understand why it looks like a mess but I do. My grandmother fled from one war and everything is precious to her: plastic that can be used as makeshift holders, bottles that can still hold soil for plants, newspaper that can be put at the bottom of a compost bin so it can absorb moisture. You do not understand that although she may be a hoarder everything has a purpose. Is that not what we learn? That we as humans have a purpose too? I’m not ashamed of my family. Because of them I have graduated university, I am on my way to do my Masters and because of their hard work and efforts I can be better than the scum who did this to my grandmother.
I grew up in this town but I have never truly called it home. At school, because I was Asian, of course that meant I was “naturally smart”. Lie. Although academics did come naturally to me there were many subjects that I always needed to study harder for. Resilience. My grandmother had taught me that.
This place that people call home is a shit hole for people of colour. On August 20th, 2020 a group of teenagers came to our family home and started aggressively banging on our front door. My grandma at this time was the only one home. She didn’t realize someone was at the door because the dog was barking, usually when he does it means he wants to go out. So, she leashed him up and opened the door. When she did she saw a group of teenage boys.
My grandmother doesn’t speak English but she could make out curse words:
“Fuck you”
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck”
And by the conviction and the harshness of the words she could tell that nothing they were saying was good. You can tell. Even if you don’t understand when words are filled with hate. If you’ve never experienced this you should thank the stars.
They then began to throw eggs at the house and the part that makes me the most upset is that a teenager, probably no more than 15-17 years old threw a stone and it hit my grandmother’s left cheekbone. Bruising her eye. Rendering her blind for a few hours. She stumbled back into the home and she said:
“Help me. Somebody help me.”
In broken English. She called everyone. She called my mother, my sister, her brother, my other sister. Until my mom picked up and then told my brother, who told my sister, who told me.
At 10:30PM on Thursday August 20th, 2020 my older sister, her fiance, my brother, and I drove down to Pembroke, ON. We stayed until 4AM speaking to the police and taking my grandmother to the hospital.
Today the OPP officer called me and confirmed that the neighbours had heard someone saying racial slurs towards my grandmother.
Since the incident on Thursday August 20th they’ve returned twice. Once to egg the house again, and another to bang on the door.
This has been the most extreme case of racism that my family has endured. In Pembroke, ON when I lived there from birth to age 17 I have been subjected to countless micro-aggressions and racial slurs.
Here are some of my favourite from the list:
“Chinese eyes” - I am Vietnamese and I am proud to be.
“You’re pretty for an asian” - self-explanatory
“Go back to Cambodia” - I was 15 years old practicing for soccer tryouts in the park when a group of white men shouted that from their truck.
“Ching-Chong, did I just say something in Chinese?” - I am not Chinese.
“Do you eat dog?”
My list is longer than that but those are just a few that I hear more often than not when I lived in Pembroke. As some people know I am starting my Master’s in the fall. I hope to be a journalist and I have already made a promise to myself that one day I will move towards creating a safe space for people of colour.
I hold Pembroke, ON accountable in every way. You do not teach the future generations about the issues of racism. The people who live in your town need to be educated. I have seen horrible people get away without even a warning countless times. This needs to stop. These were teenagers that attacked my grandmother. I am 21 years old. I have earned my Bachelor’s degree and more. I haven’t lived in Pembroke in 4 years and yet it feels as if nothing has changed.
I do not condemn the people in this town who are striving to be better but these actions are a reflection of this little town of 16000 people. There are parents who still believe in White Supremacy, in slavery, in discrimination. We POC are not doing anything harmful. My parents moved to this country for a better life but here we are in 2020 moving backwards more than we are going forward.
Help me right this wrong. If you believe in Black Lives Matter then you believe in educating yourselves. Finding these kids and helping my grandmother and many other Asian Canadians who are suffering just as much if not worse. If you think racism doesn’t exist get your head out of your ass man. Welcome to 2020 the biggest shit show we’ve ever seen.
Cindy Tran
Aspiring Journalist
Carleton University MJ Candidate
Vietnamese Canadian
Daughter of an immigrant grandmother and proud